I

I wonder how many days of my life I've played video games.

I was thinking about making a post about golf clash and talk about the mistakes I made.  How if I write them down I won't forget about them and can avoid them in the future.

Going too slow, going too fast.  Not practicing enough, taking breaks so I don't get headaches...
On this last one, I tried to not smoke as much weed, and I think it helped but I also feel like I gave myself excessive anxiety and I wonder if weed would have helped prevent that.  I know it's just a game but I feel like whenever I get put up against other people, I put in everything that I've got.

They added clans in this game in the last year and there's this desire to impress my peers and prove myself

I've been missing out.  I know that when I play, it feels like the best use of my time.  Like when I played TF2 for hours on end.  Afterwards, it doesn't feel like it was time used wisely.

I could be:

doing nice things for Chandra and Talia.

learning

writing comedy

blogging

making videos of my cat

learning how to edit videos

photography

art


I think...

I've been working my way to cutting back in the game, but recently, went all in when I got invited to one of the top 100 clans.

I wonder if it's even possible for me to cut back... just feels like playing half-ass would be a more miserable experience.

I was doing good for years, before I fell back in to this game.

Disc golf season is coming up.  I know that's where my heart is.  There will be so much more day light to do things outside.

I can always come back to gaming in the winter.  It has its place.

I need to treat pot in the same way.  I think this game and pot kind of go hand in hand.

A teacher told his student something like, "it's not making life more exciting, it's making you forget when something is boring."

I noticed that when I was cutting back to try and stay focused.  This game is like real golf where a lot of it is head game and when I start thinking that this whole thing is a waste of time, it really negatively affects my game.

Losing at a game while feeling like a loser for playing the game isn't very fun.

so I need to cut back.

I feel like I've come here to write down that I need to cut back on weed and video games too many times.

I need to find new things to write about.