Friday, June 23, 2017

Being ready for the future

In the flood of 97, the Canadian army assisted with sandbagging.

I'd like to join a group that just did that, people that help out in disasters like a soldier.

I'm thinking that to be fulfilled in what I do, I should be putting myself in dangerous situations in order to help others.

I should at least look into it.

I can tell that I'm putting a favorable image out there.  It's hard not to.  I'm wondering how easy it is to connect my real name to this blog and I've already put some things on here that make me feel vulnerable enough.  I don't want to post my weaknesses and how I'm trying to solve these problems that I continue to create.

I am weak sometimes.

I fail.

There are a lot of "I's" in this blog post.

All my life, who am I?

Tuesday, June 20, 2017


I do this a lot.  I tell myself that I'm going to stop smoking weed, and I try.  I get frustrated around people and nobody really understands.  I've been thinking about getting help in this.  I've been able to quit by myself in the past but, a lot of the times when I give it an attempt, I fail.  Today, I'm out, it'll only be a matter of time before my mind starts expecting something that I won't give it.

I've read that this is a non-unified state of mind (part of me is saying yes, while the other part is saying.  I'm living in a state of chaos when I fight myself internally.

There's only one person driving this ship and that guy does not want to be a pothead today.

I miss my dreams.  I miss being witty.  I miss the people that I care about.

I will not miss my mark.

Monday, June 19, 2017

life path

Chandra has asked me to move in with her under the condition that I quit smoking pot.

It's something that I believe is possible and I just can't imagine a life without her.  I miss her and Tal a lot and I really do want to quit wasting my time in a lifestyle that is hardly ever sober.  If I'm ever going to get up, go to school and find a more fulfilling career, I can't do it while smoking weed everyday.  I want to unleash my potential and have the ability to be there for the people that I care for.  I want to be their hero.

It seems simple, but pot and I have had a long love/hate relationship that I need to get out of.  There's going to be periods of frustration and emotional meltdowns.  I can't let those break me down.  I need to handle stress and anxiety through different means.  Jogging sounds like a good activity to get into.

Getting into photo/videography sounds like something more valuable that I should put my money into.

Saturday, June 17, 2017


I was watching one of those crime shows that deal with real life murders.  I think I had watched a few, I've "binged" on shows like forensic files before.  I hate that term being used positively.  There's an advertising campaign by shaw, a cable provider, that has a robot named "bingey"... "Hi, I'm bingey the robot, here to tell you about our new blah blah blah...", why are we praising "binge watching"?

So after watching a few, I was wondering about how many real life murders happened in that time frame.  We focus on these stories and watch it being told while new ones are happening around us constantly.  The people that make the shows are feeding off of it, they have a never-ending source of material.

This morning, I was reading about Syria, about how terrorists are holding a large population of people "hostage", shooting people as they try to escape.  There's so much going on there and it seems like we're getting minimal coverage of it.  I feel like there are a million stories worthy of being told right now, but we're all too busy watching re-runs of yesterday's "dramatic" crimes.  It's also mostly crimes from the USA.  Russia has gay people being killed and imprisoned for their sexuality, and Chechnya is probably just as close as some of these US cities, but it doesn't get the coverage like America.  Not even close.  I'm tired of Hollywood stories and sick of all these fake superhero films.

Where are the real heroes?

Thursday, June 15, 2017

A trashy dream

I had a dream recently where I was swimming with some friends having a good time.  The water was moving and I could feel stuff under the surface.  Looking, I could see that we were flowing over massive amounts of garbage.  We were forced to keep our feet up to keep from scraping against it.  Looking at everyone else, they seemed to just be like, "Yep, whatever...  What are you going to do about it?"

I don't dream very often these days, I'm fairly certain that marijuana affects dreaming, I also don't sleep in very much.  

This dream made me think about how we're in a society with piles of trash under the surface but we're all just ignoring it.

Ark Battles

Another story idea for today.

This one takes place in the near future.  Planet Earth discovers that it's going to die through our observations.  We have to build a space ship that can house people in it, indefinitely.

I was thinking of going with an asteroid event, but I've been playing with the idea of global warming or another human caused catastrophe.  A lot of the initial drama is people fighting to be the ones to go.  I would love to get in to the details on how this would be proposed.  I also need to find out how many people would be required to get enough diversification in the DNA of the population.  How much room would be needed for plants and animals?  Which plants/animals should be taken?

Do the people take tests?  Olympic style challenges to see who is the best from each nation/race?  IQ tests?

What would be done to prevent any unnecessary diseases or ailments from coming with?

How big would it need to be to house everything required where the life could survive indefinitely.

Hypothetically, what if we never really got any new huge breakthroughs when it comes to technology?  What if we're almost at the top and we're just refining what we have?  There is a wall when it comes to technology progress, every research tree has to come to an end eventually.

So if that is the case, how could we build this ship using what we have, now?  How long would it take?

I was thinking of writing about multiple generations of people, where it takes hundreds of years to build and thousands of years to get anywhere.  The initial construction takes place in space, using robots to build it out of an asteroid.  The humans go through test runs, living in isolated facilities.  They have conflicts and there are fights about which families should go.

People on the Earth that didn't pollute/harm it so much are upset because it's mostly the rich who are going and they are the ones that could have helped the planet but didn't.

So, I was thinking of making this a surprise to the reader later, but it turns out they built a second ark and they both used the same "exit strategy" on leaving the solar system.  They end up leaving in a long orbit of one another, where they pass close by each other every X amount of years.  They fight each other when this happens.  At some point, the power goes out, everything but the emergency stuff.  This cuts off the information and over time, they forget who they are.  It turns out that the other ship has hacked their system, even turning their robots against them before they board and try to take over.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

The God code

This is a story idea about a new kind of inventing.  The concept is that in the future, we're going to be able to "hack inside animal brains" and copy that information into an super intelligent machine.

To fly drones better, a team of scientists study birds and by analyzing their brain waves, they've digitized their thought processes and in the near future we can fly drones like a bird flies.

While hacking the brain, we uncover something.  It shows that everything around us has been created by something, some call it the God code.  We discover that the planet is in a simulation, a controlled environment, that solar systems are like alien petri dishes.  While, many interpret this as proof that their religion is correct and churches become filled again (in the near future, religion is almost dead), the scientists diligently work to discover more.

They find out that whatever made them has died (God, our creator, is dead), but we've been left stuff to advance and help us encounter the true problems of the universe (some nemesis, maybe an alien?)

One idea I've been thinking of is how humans have gone through a series of challenges already.  Like, a lot of other species have had runs at dominating planet Earth and, while some had good runs, their lack of intelligence prevented them from a experiencing a planet wide extinction.  Or, rather, the life that used to exist, has evolved into something different.  

I sometimes think about how legs were evolved so fish-like creatures could exist on land, maybe intelligence evolved so Earth-like creatures can exist in space.

While, being at the top of the food chain might feel like that's all there is, what if we're actually competing against other aliens right now?  They're going through the same dominance/intelligence battle that we went through.

So the story could help bring this to light.  By discovering our creator is dead, we encounter that life was an experiment, or maybe our creator saw the ending come for her/him and "planted" us just so life could go on...

Maybe our next challenge, is to find our which species, galaxy-wide, is the most competent.

So, instead of this loving figure that's here to solve our problems, instead, it's a harsh emotion-less being that's putting us and other life-forms against each other to decide who should be the next successor to the "throne of the universe", or rather, uncover the secrets of reality.

The fight is necessary like the fighting of survival as fish in the ocean is necessary.

It's part of life.  Nature is metal and so are we.