Sunday, March 31, 2019

Daily victories

Some days, it feels like winning.  I feel smarter, I feel wittier, and I feel stronger.

Yesterday, I went out and tried to have a good time with some friends at a birthday party.  I knew that most of them were not pot smokers so I thought that it was a good chance to have some fun and not feel tempted.  One of them was, and he kept giving me a hard time.  

"Nobody likes a quitter"

fuck you man.  you think this is easy for me?

I don't know why, but I just couldn't enjoy myself.  I cut myself off early because I wanted to drive our daughter home safely.  As everyone else got more and more drunk, I just got tired and annoyed.

Driving her home, I vented a bit, and told her how I felt like I've become boring and just, not a fun person.  She was really kind and expressed how I'm the one that wasn't killing all of my brain cells.

It was nice, but it was one day where I didn't feel like winning.  I felt like a loser.

I did tell a joke, which I guess is not that big of a deal but I made some people laugh with it so that's pretty cool.

"Quitting weed is tough, I can't drive over a pothole without getting a craving."

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